Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
someone owes me an orgasm
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel like death gave me a hand job
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
