I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm too high and old for this...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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