you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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