Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize