Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
