apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Even the bartender felt bad for me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
