Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
