she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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