Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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