No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
