you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I checked into jail on foursquare
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
