I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
