I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
