oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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