new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
