his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
