I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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