i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
