He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
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He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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