my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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