I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
either way he was missing a nipple.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
