Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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