What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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