just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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