We're like a lot better than the average bears
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
