Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
