I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My Sexting was not on an AP level
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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