I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
