Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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