i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
