Apparently you make a good broom.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
