Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
two words...techno handjob
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
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As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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