You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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