I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
