I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
