I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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