Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
