I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
