My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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