FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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