i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
