i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
