just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize