I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
