So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
