the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well you can't waste a boner
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
dude. I can hear the air.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
