I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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