Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you are never too drunk for berry picking
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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