Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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