I'm really into asian looking animals
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
