I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
