In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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