Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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