he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
