brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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