Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
