If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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