Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
